


Toucan

by callmeollie



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Autism, Autistic!Lena, Trans Guy!Lena, Trans Male Character, also crying, im trans and autistic so sources : me, quite a bit of it, the title is toucan for now bc i love toucans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-10-26 10:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17743799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmeollie/pseuds/callmeollie
Summary: lena just wants to be seenlena just wants to be heardlena just wants to be okayall while being a boy.all while being himself.oh,and feel free to call him--[Trans Guy!Autistic!Lena comes out as trans to some of his coworkers and friends. Crying ensues.]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey yall this is my first fanfic I've done in a while so!! yeah!! feel free to tell me of any spelling errors, etc.

Lena trudged down the hall, head held high yet confidence certainly not showing. Fidgeting with a tangle in his hand, he started to wonder the many possibilities on doing this now. Did he have to do this  _ now?  _ Couldn't he have waited for a better date? Sure yes, not many people besides for him were here, and so then any dramatic reaction at least wouldn't get too much of an audience with it- but couldn't he have waited? He could've done so many other things besides for doing this right here, right now. 

He could’ve been learning more on planes- his special interest- for all he cared about. Planes have been something that brought Lena comfort ever since he was pretty young, about 7-8, and here he was, 26. He knew quite of other autistic people who never had a special interest last as long as this has, but hey, no one really complained. Of course other special interests of his came and went. He was fascinated by Overwatch when he was just a young lad, and had many other interests in old video games from the 10’s, including Minecraft and Undertale. Hana always lightly teased him for liking those games (making sure he knew she was joking around, of course), while Reinhardt and her ended up talking a lot about it.

But here he was, about to knock on the med bay door. Most of the other members were either on a mission for the next couple days, so he wouldn’t have to worry about them- he just had to worry about the ones that were here. 

Lena slowly rose his fist up, and lightly tapped on Angela’s door. Realistically, it probably took the doctor 10 or so seconds to open the door for Lena, but in Lena’s mind, it practically happened the moment he knocked on the door.

“Lena!”, Angela exclaimed, which made him cringe a little at the name. “Come on in, liebling!”, She opened the door up, and Lena entered. 

The med bay was bare, and frankly, not that busy. Angela lead Lena past the rest rooms and to her office, with most of the rest rooms empty with the occasional soldier here or there. The walls were an eggshell white, with the only color coming from the hall and rooms being from either the slight color in the tiles or the paintings on the walls. Angela’s office kept up with the same pattern, except for her degrees on the wall and some pictures of people from Overwatch- Jack, Reaper, and Ana in front of headquarters; Reinhardt, Lena, Angela, and Torbjörn back in Kings Row; and Fareeha and Angela, looking to be somewhere in the base, with Angela kissing Fareeha’s cheek- to name a few. 

“Take a seat, Lena.”, Angela said softly, and Lena obliged. He put the tangle in his pocket and pulled out a small little pillow with orange fuzz on it- one of his smaller comfort objects. Angela took note of Lena stimming with it, since he only did that when he was nervous, and continued on with the conversation.

 

“So, what brings you here, Lena?”, Angela asked, her voice chipper as Lena got more nervous. Of course he shouldn’t have done this now. He could’ve wait. Hell, he could’ve just stayed in the closet! He got more and more into his thoughts, rocking side to side slightly as he got more agitated and nervous, when Angela took him out of his thoughts.

“Lena, hey, what’s wrong liebling? You can tell me anything.”, Angela remarked, reaching out her hand for Lena to hold. Lena put his pillow in one of his hands before taking Angela’s hand.   
  
“There’s just.. Something I’ve been meaning to tell ya, love.”   
“What is it, Lena?”   
Lena closed his eyes.   
“I’m a trans guy.”   
  
Lena felt the weight on his shoulders go down to his stomach. It felt so great to get that off his chest, but also made him more nervous. Now he was going to have to be fired of his job, be outed to Emily, be kicked off the streets, and never get to have the feeling of the nice heated and weighted blanket on him again--

He didn’t even notice that Angela had gone around the table to hug him, and didn’t notice he was starting to cry.

“Shhh, Lena, it’s okay. Thank you for telling me. Have you told anyone else?”, Angela whispered as Lena sobbed into her shoulder, shaking his head. “You haven’t told anyone? Oh, liebling…”, Angela responded, hugging Lena tighter as he calmed down.

“You… You’re not angry, love?” Lena mumbled, hoping Angela would hear him. Lucky for him, she did.

 

“No, why would I be? Do you have a name you want me to call you?”

“Just.. thought you would be, luv. Is.. Is Lukas… actually, Logan. Is Logan alright?”   
“Logan is a great name, liebling, I’ll write it down. Can I go back to my desk?”   
Lena, now Logan- even to just one person- nodded. 

Angela let go of Logan, walking around to her side of the desk and writing down a reminder. “Are you gonna tell Emily?”, she pondered. “What about the others?”   
  
“I.. yes, to both of those. I dunno when. I jus’.. Knew I needed someone to know, otherwise I would explode.”, Logan said, taking out his tangle again while putting back his pillow in his pocket.

“That’s perfectly understandable, Le-- Logan. Do you want me to tell anyone else for you, or would you prefer to tell them yourself?”   
“Myself, if I can.”   
“Alright. Anything else you wanna talk about, liebling?”   
Logan shook his head, before pushing in his chair. “Thank you, Angie.”   
“Anytime, Logan.”   
  
\---   
  
Logan wandered out of the medbay, his hands flapping in excitement. He couldn’t believe he just did that! He was out to one person, she didn’t overreact or shun him, and he was fine! He wouldn’t have to live on the streets, or be in worry that he would get outted, everything was perfectly fine--!   
“Oof!”, Logan exclaimed as he bumped into someone.   
“L-Lena! Watch where you’re going!”   
Logan felt like his million bucks turned out to be fake, or however that phrase went.

“Wiiinstoon! Heya love, sorry for not seein’ ya there! WellIGottaGoSoSeeYa--”, Logan rushed the last bit so he could get back to his room, but Winston caught him before he could.    
Winston set Logan down before talking to him. “Lena.. what’s wrong? You look like you’re hiding something.” He asked, looking worriedly at his friend.

“Ah, well… Winston, if I tell ya, promise to not tell a single soul until I say you can do otherwise?”, Logan whispered the end part, getting close to him.   
“Sure..? Lena, if you ate all of my peanut butter again, and are just trying to catch me off guard, you could be a bit better at this.”

Logan nervously laughed, a little away from Winston, looking around to make sure no one else would be present, before coming back close to Winston.   
  
“...I’m a trans guy.”   
  
Logan immediately backed away from Winston after saying such, trying to play off as if he hadn’t said one of the biggest secrets he has ever kept from anyone. He expected for Winston to be livid, go all ape on him, and for him to never receive the light of the sun again when…

 

“That’s all?”

 

Logan jumped back as if he just saw a jumpscare, before collecting himself again. “Yes, that’s uh, all. Why aren’t you more surprised?”

 

Winston chuckled. “Lena. I’ve known you since before the Slipstream, and that was when you were, what? 15 years or so old? I knew this day would’ve most likely happened.” He then got more serious. “You’re my friend, Lena. Nothing will change that.”   
Logan teared up at that. “Awe, big guy…” He wrapped his arms best around Winston as he could, and Winston reciprocated. “Thank you so much…”   
“Anytime, Le-- what is your name now, anyhow?” Winston asked, chuckling a little.   
Logan laughed with him. “It’s Logan, love. Logan.”   
“Logan. Anytime, Logan.”

Logan and Winston stepped out of the hug, with Logan happy stimming and Winston chuckling a little.

 

“Awww! That’s adorable!”   
  
Logan jumped, hiding behind Winston before peeking out behind him to see Hana and Lucio came out from their hiding spot- the hall leading to the training rooms. 

Logan had, for some reason, forgot that there were halls leading out to all sorts of places from the main room- one hall down to the training rooms, one to the med bay, one to the weaponry, one to the entrance, one to the higher-ups offices, and one to the planes for missions. Of course anyone could have been hiding and heard their conversation, with how many hallways there were. 

“HANAAAAAA!”, Logan yelled before running and tackling Hana in what seems to be an actual tackle, but ends up being a hug. “LEN- I MEAN LOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” Hana yells back, laughing and hugging him. “How are you my freshest boy?”    
  


Logan let go of the hug. “Fist off- wh- how long have you two been there?!”   
“Eh, most of the conversation.”   
“Wh- why didn’t you two say anything?!”   
“It was a  _ moment _ , duhhh.”   
“Wh- You- You two accept…?   
“Le- Logan, if we didn’t, we would’ve cursed you out or something similar to that.” Lucio responded, instead of Hana. “As Winston said- you’re still our friend, we ain’t gonna dip our friend that easily!”   
“Yeah, what Lucio said!”, Hana said.   
Logan teared up a little, before hugging his friends. Of course, both of them hugged back, happy for their friend.   
  
Logan felt like a million bucks again, and a little less alone. Everything would be okay.


	2. EXTRA- Trans Day of Visibility Special!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall! I decided to do this, and while it is a sort of continuation, it's just Logan coming out a bit more. You'll see. Anyhow! Enjoy the read!

Logan sat in the airship, scared of what would happen. He was going to tell Emily, of course, on Trans Day of Visibility.

 

Over the course of the month, he had come out to everyone, including to the higher ups. They, luckily, accepted him for who he was- they even changed his pronouns, gender, and name in his file!- and was about to release to the public about who he was, except for one thing- he hadn’t told Emily yet.

 

Logan was petrified. How would she react? He was already on T for a couple weeks now, and you could hear his voice getting a little deeper and the muscles start forming easier than it had been. Even his chronal accelerator, which Winston had fixed, was changed so it wasn’t in between his chest as much as it had been. Winston says that he’ll change it once Logan gets top surgery and is ready to go into the battlefield- which he’s so thankful of- but sometimes it makes things a little wobbly, like remembering where to protect and people getting a bit weirded out by such when he went around. 

 

Before Logan knew it, the airship was on the ground. He saluted to the pilot as a thank you, got his stuff, and walked off. Of course, he goes to a bench, sits down, and texts Emily that he’s here.

 

In the span of 15 minutes, he’s now in Em’s car, smiling and joking. Emily notes outloud to him that it seems like he smells a little more, to which Logan replied “I haven’t showered yet!” and nervously laughed it off. It didn’t take long for them to get home, and Logan relaxed at least a little and being home.

 

“Take off your jacket, love, and sit down! You can tell me all what happened once I get you something to drink.” Emily called, prompting Logan to sit down and start worrying.

 

Was she gonna freak out? Would she hurt him? What would happen? Maybe he should’ve stayed at Overwatch. Maybe…

 

“Lena? What’s wrong?” Emily was right next to him, holding his hand. Hot tea was on the table, but Emily didn’t seem to care about that right now.

 

Logan started to rock a little, biting his lip and shaking his hand. He wished he didn’t pack his pillow in his backpack…

 

Emily hugged him from the side, rocking with him. “I’m sorry if I made you nervous.. You can tell me when your ready.” She whispered, knowing how Logan worked. Logan leaned into Emily a little, tearing up and looking down, before whispering something that he swore would change his fate.

 

“I-I’m… I’m trans, Emily…”    
  


Emily stopped rocking with him, which made Logan even more nervous- until Emily started giggling a little.

 

“Yeah, and? I suspected you were ever since I met you, love. And, besides, I heard you calling yourself different names you thought about going by before you chose yours. It’s a nice name, I’ll say that.”    
  
Logan was shocked, and didn’t know what to say except to hug Emily immediately. Of course, this made Emily giggle more, hugging him close. Logan started to ramble on, tears getting in his eyes, saying he was so scared she’d kick him out and whatever, to which Emily immediately dismissed.

 

“I love you, Lena- rather, Logan, that’s your name now, yeah?” Logan nodded before Emily continued on. “As I said, it’s a nice name. I love you, Logan. No matter who you are or whatever pronouns you use.”    
  
Logan happily stimmed in response, snuggling closer to Emily. Em smiled, and for a while, they were both happy together. After a couple minutes, Emily spoke up again.

 

“Though I am not kidding when I said you stink. Testosterone does that to you, right?” Emily joked, to which Logan laughed.

“Yeah, it does. I’ll take a shower soon.”   
“Love, you need more than a shower. You need like 10.”   
“Emilllllyyyyy!”   
“I only speak the truth, love!”   
  
They both laughed at that, smiling and goofing off like the dorks they are. At the end of the night, before Logan actually went to take a shower, Logan looked to Emily.

 

“Yes, love?”   
“I love you so goddamn much, Emily.”   
Emily smiled.   
“I love you too, Logan. Happy Trans Day of Visibility.”   
They both hugged, before Logan, slightly stimming happily, walked to the bathroom. He did stink, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading yet again! sorta short, but, yknow. and, as well, have a great tdov, from your friendly neighborhood autistic trans guy!

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you all enjoyed!! I had a lot of fun writing this honestly. if you liked it, feel free to leave a kudos, or even comment that you do!! i might make this a whole series thing if people like it enough!! have a great day!! <3


End file.
